On Being Patient
About 20 years ago, when I was a teaching assistant for software engineering at McGill University, one of my reviews amusingly stated: “Danny is a monkey.” At the time, I laughed and didn’t think much beyond its humorous value but I wondered it had anything to do with how slowly I go went over examples in my tutorials. While I’ve only been described this way once, a comment I’ve frequently received from people I’ve taught is that I’m patient.
Now, to be clear, I’m not always patient. There have been plenty of instances where I’ve failed to behave patiently. I’m also not an expert on IQ, genetics, psychology, or really very much at all. What I am is a practitioner, eager for experts to study my practices and help me improve, because I have a hypothesis, some personal data supporting it, and I’d like to collect more.
My hypothesis is straightforward: genetics might influence predispositions for skills like math or athletics, but I believe patience is significantly undervalued (and AI + CBT could help with that). Impatience might be embedded in our culture, perhaps even universally. Certain families and individuals appear to value patience more, which I think makes an enormous difference.
Slow is smooth, smooth is fast
A core principle I’ve embraced over the years, reinforced through sports like Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, is: “slow is smooth, smooth is fast.” Teaching something slowly matters more than initial speed of learning. Bruce Lee famously said something similar: “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.” Careful, deliberate practice leads to true mastery.
Here’s a personal example: my kids attend Singapore’s rigorous school system. Oddly, I often encourage them to drop out or skip homework. Yet, they excel academically and have both been recognized as model students—a distinction awarded to just one student per class.
The secret, I believe, is meaningful patience for things that matter. I teach basic concepts slowly and carefully, allowing my kids to learn at their own pace. This patience lets them truly understand what they’re learning and make lasting connections.
“Believe in yourself” - something Ted Lasso might have said
Many people wrongly believe they’re not “good” at math, coding, drawing, singing, or other skills because they’ve never been given enough time to learn. Instead of patience, they’ve experienced impatience.
Fortunately, early in life, I developed the ability to patiently teach myself new skills. I learned that short, deliberate learning sessions were more effective than intense, prolonged ones. This patient approach allowed me to consistently outperform peers academically and professionally—not by studying longer, but by slowly mastering core concepts.
The takeaway is simple: impatience impedes learning. Whether teaching a child, a colleague, or a stranger, patience is the gift of genuine improvement.
If you know something well and want others to master it, teach slowly. In the long term, slow teaching is truly the fastest route to mastery.