Building Confident Kids

One of the most common fallacies that I see parents repeating is the notion that people who are successful are confident, and therefore they need to build confidence in their kids and protect their egos.

The truth could not be further from that.

Somebody who has genuine confidence is somebody whose ego has been crushed repeatedly for years. Because when their egos get crushed, they become more humble, and they learn to work harder. And when they are humble and work hard for many years, they become strong.

Their confidence does not come from an accumulation of compliments. It comes from an accumulation of failures that they have learned to overcome.

And so, if you want your kids to build confidence, you need to challenge them hard.

Of course, this does not mean you just challenge them and leave them for dead. It means you need to build genuine humility and a strong work ethic into them.

You need to be there. You need the presence of mind and the attention required to know, every day, how to challenge them. What are they good at, but could become better at? Where are they struggling, and what will it take for them to improve?

You need to push them to the edge of their abilities, let them fail, and help them find their way forward.

You need to sharpen steel with steel.